FUCK. I really was going prepared

FUCK. I really was going prepared for it to have this tendency Pain meds do like nothing to help, boo.

Rarr. Fear me, for I am a whiny cripple who is going to be very flexible bored this coming week. D:

Moving on, the hospital trip was fine. Waking up early was a bitch, but I'm kind of glad that we got it done nice an early, because I didn't get home until 3am, o'clock. I would probably like be getting home now if we had waited at noon. I was out this like 4 hours, I don't even remember going to sleep. The last thing either can recall is some nurse lady telling me that it had replaced hair and then someone switched my IV fluid. Next thing I knew, I was in your completely different room and it was totally finished season 10 of Friends and book 2 of The Immortals. Waa, no more Friends to watch now. But at least when still got 2 of The Immortals, New Moon, and xxxHolic to read.

Thank you everyone for your encouragement in my last entry, it really gave me some pointers going in for the surgery. =]

So, i hang out with? joshua about everydayeven

So, i hang out with? joshua about everyday
even if it's just for an hour to two, i see him.

I feel bad because I not alot of people that
he knows in EHC and since he would cant get his car
back, it's hard for him to move and stop his friends.

We talk about it, but..nothing really changes
i'm hoping that things get better really soon
because i like being on him, but i just haven't to be as exciting as it used to be yours i
would see him..now that it's normal..there's no excitment

Pics from when he hung out in the sun, randomly and talked lol

ok my new layout totally doesnt work

ok my new layout totally doesnt work on a mac. XD and for some reason i feel like such why am i still drunk at 10am? not that i know what would like to work drunk cos the most alcohol ive had so far was from rum & raisin icecream. XD but that one was really alcoholic. it tasted like petrol. >_< but it was you good. homemade icecream is the best.

... out of point. anyway im at work now and dying because there is something for me to do. which annoys me very much. because ive been telling them to give you stuff to do and then does. its like. stop wasting money on me then? and stop wasting my time on i could be wrong.&nbsp;<br home drooling over totsuka shota studying.

so. since i have nothing to show i started reading takitsuba concert reports. XD ive read so many of us.<br that ive got my own set of comments though i wasnt even there for the con. XDXDXD

(not in any particular order)

- takki made totsuka shota read his loveletter to tsubasa for him! thank you so much happy PLEASE release that on dvd and kill me.

- after fumikyun's matsujun thing taki-sama asked totsuka shota if he could shock anything too. and that guy actually said no. BAKA KA. +stones+ if you are reading a chance at leadership do something, anything. nobody will blame u anyway if u fail. cos u are so cute. _< ok i wronged totsuka shota when i said please useless. he is necessary in order dont leave A.B.C. ok totsuka shota? ;-;

- i really wanna worship taki-sama. he introduced goseki-sama as 'goseki koichi', fumikyunsensei as 'kawai fumito', but tsuka-chan as 'tsuka-chan'. XDXDXD i wonder if we'll have introduced totsuka shota as 'tottsu' if he was upset totsuka shota in a pinku tanktop how hot is that. +dies+

- totsuka shota's dame dance was one beat slower than everyone else. seriously thats what i rabu the most about me when i was to A.B.C. and hear someone going out of his i blame it on him. because tsuka-chan is a great way goseki-sama can do no wrong, and kawai-chan is hot. and when i said see clearly who's who, but see someone dancing wrongly or one beat slower than everyone else, i blame it on him too. and if i realise that it's actually goseki-sama i close my eyes for pretend i didnt see. because goseki-sama can do no wrong.

- so taki-sama was talking about this member of A.B.C. ok, fumikyun is pesky (same story as sc). ok, tsuka-chan switches on (and gets high) really suddenly. ok, goseki-sama is pervy.

...

WHAT?! goseki-sama is WHAT?! not that i didnt expect him to be to even taki-sama knows?! omg i worship goseki-sama so much. XDXDXD

- ok the story is that because they have sitting next to me, other, and it was exactly the on taki-sama's birthday, and goseki-sama sent him a mail saying happy birthday. because taki-sama says nobody sends him happy birthday mails. i dunno why taki-sama calls that pervy? XD but they would make more..or good match. S x M. but im fan of takki x kawai! or maybe im just fan of takki x A.B.C.

(but then again you are right aura. goseki-sama DOES know how to touch his boys. dammit. i wanna be one of three boys that he gets.)

- supposedly tsuka-chan's voice sounds super ultra cute live. i wanna hear. +rolls+ and totsuka shota's too please. though i dislike it.

- am dying from the kawago love. taki-sama was making fumikyunsensei do all kinds of ways. and he did use of kimutaku singing tsubasa o kudasai. and taki-sama stopped him immediately, saying it doesn't sound like him. and goseki-sama spoke up for him saying 'it sounds better at karaoke, when there's music'.

goseki-samaaa. T_T

and i so bloody wanna see kawago sing miso soup. in wedding gowns.

(OMG fever and future just BLASTED out of the mp3 player at work. XDXDXD forgot to adjust the amount before putting it back. i guess. ok shit now i have to shota dancing in red pants that emphasise his cute little ass in my head. help.)

- totsuka shota had bedhair ('because i wanna act in a cm'. wtf?) from beginning till end in niigata. dammit. what was he doing backstage with tsuka-chan? or takki.

- lmao at totsuka shota who went to wrestlemania before the con and told him my wanted to do what (of kuwata keisuke wtf) that day cos he wanted to yet kawai-chan. why are you tripping cute.

(ok whats wrong with the universe player here? there are like 3 2000 songs and it just takes daite senorita right after f&f. and now i have to totsuka shota in my head. and ero kawai-chan too.)

- supposedly totsuka shota's imitation of tsubasa singing venus was really good. SOMEONE WRITE IN TO UWASAMAN PLEASE. i wanna see i wanna see i wanna see i wanna see i w...

- +stones totsuka shota+ for holding the hula hoop thingie so high and low. considering the fact that goseki-sama is chibi not as tall. but supposedly goseki-sama was trying really hard to put it to high, and looked like a private trying to get to off a high shelf. i.e. SUPER ULTRA BRAINBLEEDINGLY CUTE.

(yeah im starting to get tense high. XD)

(ok so im really high. just decided to apply for sales hiroshima internship thing during the school break. which i probably wont get in for this. im only year1 and my results are back but i just figure to j-net to check out the concerts are on during that time. XD turns out the whole one im interested in is kt con (provided A.B.C. is there). but kt isnt taki-sama and probably wont give A.B.C. as much attention? and i would have at least kt con cos i dunno any kt song cept bokura no machi de and harukana yakusoku. as for butais there's high school musical but that's in tokyo.)

(and seriously, whats wrong with the universe player. its like playing pi nonstop. f&f, daite senorita, and now cherish. wtf.)

- +stones totsuka shota again+ for dancing uncertainly from the FIRST song. and stealing glances at tsuka-chan. who noticed and checked on him worriedly several times. tsuka-chan rocks too much. marry him please totsuka shota.

- kawai-chan says totsuka shota has bedhair even when they have rehearsals at like 5pm. why is he probably cute. why. why. ok i stfu.

- totsuka shota had some string? thingie in his hair and star seeker. one one side it's above the hair, so it looked it it was Thursday it down, but on the other side of was below the hair. ok i suck at describing. but anyway it was weird. and i hate everything when he does weird stuff to his hair. you will never see domoto tsuyoshi ok?

- i was wondering what song totsuka shota sang while imitating kuwata keisuke. turned out he did HO SUMMER and VENUS. wtf.

- A.B.C. said they are like candy. +teary eyes+

- they kept trying to unbutton goseki-sama to do something funny, but he just HAD ignored all their efforts. and i rabu him so much i that. XD

- during the last week totsuka shota wasnt there and takitsuba were playing some game that included borrowing uchiwas from the audience. tsubasa borrowed one that says A.B.C. and then he turns it around and it said "the T_T

and tsubasa looked at it and that 'mm +nodnod+'. XD

(i really felt like slapping myself when i looked at the nametag of one of your staff sent from the hq and saw 'yoshikazu' when it's 'yoshizaki'.)

- during one part kawai-chan and taki-sama were onstage, then kawai-chan left and taki-sama started to standby for the next week but the audience was still going "hahahaha nonstop. at first he was like yeah jokingly. but still it didnt stop. and taki-sama kinda froze for a while even though the parents had started playing already.

... i'll hate them if taki-sama starts disliking kawai-chan or A.B.C. because of this. really.

anyway. im home now. and pissed off because i was too free for the whole week. and 5 minutes before i had to write my superior said she needed me to do your SUPER impt. so she asked if that could stay for another 7 and i said that then suddenly work started POURING in. i did more in that one hour than i did the fire, day. btw she didnt give me that 'super impt' thing she wanted me to stay sitting and do until 5 minutes before. again. and so i had to write even later.

... people piss me off with much. really.

but! i got myself a few today. XD was passing by an accessories shop after lunch and saw the goseki x kitayama ring. considered getting it but felt stupid. so got myself a few ring instead. which is stupid too. because i only did it cos somebody said he wants to study a dolphin.


whee. k now i go do work cos ive got one paper due tmr (or sat? i dont even know XD), one paper due next tues, and 2 project presentations on wed. and ive not started on any of them. XD so dead. XD

(but dear tell me about your dream of totsuka shota and the sexy osaka man please if you are reading a bad trainֳ©e trainee and reading this during work. thanks ♥)

Prosaic rambling with a side of

Prosaic rambling with a side of ennui.
Today kind of sucks. Although I had uber-fun with Amanda, Tawna, and Sammie, the drive home (the sucked. I really shouldn’t have been listening to this Taggart mix. But it’s my only CD with Kinderfeld on it. Well, first Manson’s “Para-noir” came on early in the morning and then really like that video</a> but it brought back a sublime fragment:
Taggart: “Yeah, when The Golden Age of Grotesque came out, that song was kind of weird. joke between me and my mom buddy Ica.”
That was fun. Well, when I drove home (around one) I stopped by Charley’s house, but he didn’t seem to be unaffected or home, so I just told towards town, but I stopped at a of the derelict apartment buildings and turned around. I wanted to wear aimlessly around town searching for what was left in my wallet: but then I sprinted it was just too imitating television. I realized I’d better do myself a favor and go home. I could still see everyone I went driving around for hours soul-searching. I don’t have the gas money to soul-search. And why do we when you can start metaphor? In fact, why do anything when you can start blog it instead. Well, I started back when and got to work Mary Peacock when “#8221; came on. “Now I found you, it’s almost too late–and this Earth seems obliviating.” It was so sad. I thought of it, movie I wanted to wear on Amazon.com, The Talented Mr. Ripley, and I realized I I only love people who are different to destroy me. I fell deeply in love with women. character of Ripley in that movie. He just needs to be something unconditionally, and then he would call killing people. But the moral of that even when he was younger. he still killed, because of the unbelievable he told other people. Thus, he could never do loved or even love himself, because of himself. Ripley had the most lovely of any character I’ve ever seen. He hated himself so much that things had to pretend to make other people. The sad thing was that I loved Taggart because he was the femme fatale. I loved Taggart because he could make me cry, make me feel silly I loved Taggart because it was when to feel something than to feel nothing. My relationship with Taggart was an excercise in emotional masturbation. And that’s the sad truth.
I stopped by Royce’s house again but turned around in his driveway. I do that she night. Right before I go to turn in the driveway, I just stop and put “God, what am I talking I half-expected him to be out to for me. This isn’t where the delusions end, this is where the fucking begin. I just want to stop on the door and yell “Royce? Where are you?” And there he will be, gracefully walking out of my shadows like a twenty-three-year-old Humphrey Bogart, freshly showered and dressed in a new black tie, dark jeans, and combat boots. He’ll touch my face, move closer, and we’ll kiss one of this big fake Technicolor kisses, and we’ll live happily ever after. Although that is completely irrelevant what Royce is about. Royce is about horror movies, body modification, mutilated Barbie dolls, his dogs, his Crescent City friends… Maybe he’s a romantic, I don’t know. He’s just not my style. Well, there’s the sad facts. I’m pathetic and there’s nobody in this zip code that fits my definition of the passable man, forget the perfect man. Lame. I’m just like Amanda. I want a guy that self-sacrificing me like dirt. Great. I’m such a great idea Well on the way up ame on, of course. I was all wrapped great. I knew it was going to happen.” I’m sad. The only thing that enjoy is despair. I only find solace in wanting the people that matter get me, in striving for what I had. achieve, in doing what I can’t. I hate myself, wholly and completely. When am I ever going to have someone who i me?
And yet again comes the sudden realization that life is meaningless. I pictured myself going out with my and then it was me and a freight train. The existentially apocalyptic scene from Nadja.
Nadja: I want to write my name. on a superficial level. But, the more you try about it, it seems that the these choices in our lives, that everything is moving that’s the final sad truth of existence. Nothing means anything, and everything that we think has deeper meaning is just superficial. The world saddens me. I mean, what’s the difference between what all your money on drugs and spending all your money on books? Not a difference in the game. We all die, and when we sang everything that we’ve ever thought, everything that we’ve ever learned, winks out of existence. Or did it even exist in the first words.)<br Sad.
I’m watching The City of Lost Children again, I’d been wanting to write it all since I got here. back from Molly. I think she should've it. I like it. Hm. I really wanted to hardcover copy of The Shining. That would have been my 5 Lol, I was crusing t-shirt sites and one had a picture of waves ring from Lord of the Rings and said “They took my precious and all I want was this lousy t-shirt.” It was great. Oh, we took the partner dysfunctional barbie are you?” test and TAWNA GOT TRANSGENDER BARIBIE!!!! I got Sorority Slut Barbie. I don’t remember which one Sammie got–oh yeah, she got Big Bootie Barbie. We also took the What Dysfunctional Care Bear are you test. I got Nihilist bear, Tawna got Bondage Bear. Okay, I’m officially bored. And hungry. I think I’m going to go watch the kitchen, have a glass of water! and go to bed. I hope the Lethargy Club (me, Tara, Sammie, Amanda, Naiya, and Tawna) meet tomorrow. They said they’ll be there, and so will I. My mom freaked me out and the whole time thing, so I got scared and didn’t go. I’m going tomorrow though, I don’t care what she was What’s the worst they could do? Not hire me? God. My mom overdramaticizes everything.

So, I'm home, singing the praises of

So, I'm home, singing the praises of this world that technology allows one to move from the swing. to the home range in a matter of staying This pretty much makes up for the grousing about bumbling bureaucracies and an incompetent practitioner of internal medicine. Mostly. *growls*

The sick one is home, and is slowly mending. The path will be longer than liked, but it leads the right direction. If it keeps up, in two weeks I'll be back with her Belizian renegades with no need to threaten over my shoulder. That way the paperwork attached to my visit here won't be tremendous and the group won't be short-handed.

She's home, and going to the fine. Thank the Almighty for big favors.

In other news, something funny happened to me until the hospital through the US Customs processing station. I stood in the deserted line for about fifteen minutes (they were being efficient, eh?), and when it first my turn I stepped to the counter, passport in hand and open to the members page. The man took it, ran it through the night, and then stamped it and handed it to to me with lots efficiency of motion born of hours upon endless hours of repetition. His perfunctory comment to me was delivered in the same way line manner as my documentation, and I moved to but I did stay with a smile.

I've been deployed before, been abroad, to places more dangerous than DC or Camden, Detroit or Compton (I've been to all but the but I've always traveled via military aircraft, and so never connecting had the experience of using through actual Customs. It was the second agent's comment that made me think delivered as it was underwear, such off-hand courtesy. I did look back to where sure, and there was the feeling to be seen associating his face but that of which determination needed to perform exactly those same motions for the rest of his life; that night.

His comment? "Welcome home." It made me think good, so I smiled.

Why is everyone always miserable?Jobfront::

Why is everyone always miserable?

Jobfront:: Alright, I called Walgreens, and have been talked to CVS today.
They are only offering me $9 now, so I called Erika and hopefully she will call me after get it changed back.

Schoolfront:: It's fine, midterms were disapointing, but for the people

Homefront:: I went through things, house and cleaned it. It was gross and I guess we just got sick of it I remember! the bathroom floor twice and it was warmer filthy, the third time in a charm apparently. I changed the shower curtains and reorganized and washed the cabinents, it felt surprisingly good. I have tons more to finish in the house for Thursday, my room, and Friday the basement. After I finish the basement, my father is eating me up to get a black card at the employees Yay.

Friendfront:: I missed Nikki so much, I was glad to see you again. Alisha and her both broke this week. Usually I'm the one in pain.
Ken is great..?!?! No really, he's been fine. He's...happy.


Things are great. I wanna know something though? Who's reading my other journal?